In The News: Wacky Shit

I have to admit that in spite of my absolute disdain for 24-hour news and desire to urinate upon the collected heads of all mainstream media people, I sometimes enjoy just looking at headlines as they are on a web page and wonder exactly what kind of nuggets of corn I’ll discover in the general turd of reportage.

First up, what’s not prominent in the news: Part of me can’t seriously help but wonder how there’s so little coverage of Pearl Harbor rememberance. Tiny little mark in history I suppose. It only launched our asses into World War II. I did see a small article on a survivor who’s going back there, and some new (?) photos of the aftermath. Guess it has to be an anniversary year ending in zero for real news. Wait… for… it…

Item: Women engage in misogyny on MTV. This means, in simple English, that the girls on Jersey Shore act like whores. I’m shocked, I tell you. Shocked.

Item: FAA Chief resigns after DUI arrest. While I understand this is kind of a public figure, I fail to see what the drama is here. It’s not like he was drinking and flying, right?

Item: Scientists discover another possible Earth. Thank heavens, because I could use some more storage space for all my stuff. Or is this one of those Star Trek type of things where they find a mirror culture and another BrainRants?

Item: Iran captures U.S. Drone. Now this is serious business, I think, possibly an outrage. We absolutely cannot sit here idle while Iranians come and steal one of our Congressmen.

Item: Opinion Poll on endzone celebrations. We’re apparently supposed to decide whether or not it’s unsportsmanlike to do some kind of celebration after scoring a touchdown. Let’s all Tebow for a favorable poll return on this one.

Item: Donald Trump wanted Obama to be “a great cheerleader.” That would have been fine and dandy, and the way he looks in the little skirt with pom poms probably wouldn’t have hurt his Nobel Prize odds at all.

As I said, Pearl Harbor Day doesn’t even come close.


34 Responses to “In The News: Wacky Shit”

  1. This reminds me of a time in school where we had to report on current events and I found a story about a lady who died and had her face eaten off by her cats before people found her… I got an A.

  2. Another wacky and totally useless ‘news item’ is to share with us what some moron celebrity said on Twitter or Facebook. Makes me want to throw a brick through the TV, but then I couldn’t watch my PBS favorites.

  3. At least this morning the Today Show dedicated a segment to Pearl Harbor. Of course they followed that with an equally long segment to Alec Baldwin getting tossed off a plane for being a prick.

  4. Pearl Harbor wasn’t overlooked by NBC. One of the first segments on this morning’s Today Show talked about the seven Arizona survivors who made it to a ceremony at the memorial. A family of an 8th survivor who passed away in April was also there to inter his ashes at the memorial. It was quite a moving 70th anniversary ceremony. Sadly, the Arizona survivors group will be disbanding at the end of this year since so few remain.

    I visited the Arizona Memorial about 20 years ago. It was a very emotional visit, much like a visit to Civil War battlefields. Some of us do pause and remember and are ever grateful to those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom, but I fear many of us may not remember the significance of this date.

  5. savorthefolly Says:

    Oh dear Lord help us, another brainrants wandering around the universe?

  6. Ahh shit , I knew I spent too much time on the internet . It’s not really a bad thing that I follow so little of the local news. News in India stagnates for ages between corruption scandals breaking out . The fillers basically include random ministers bitching about shit which I can live without.

    So when I read about stuff like another planet resembling earth ,I read up like a madman. Incidentally ,did you know they found a planet like tattooine in starwars which orbits two suns ? (0.o)
    …..and sadly ,I’m even aware of Tebow :-/

  7. The guardian web site has a big photo retrospective on Pearl Harbor this morning. See? You just have to go to English new for remembrance of Pearl Harbor.

  8. Pearl Harbor…is that where they house all of the world’s pearls?

    Just kidding!

  9. Can we pay the Iranians to kidnap more of our DRONES? We have quite a few here in Texas that we would like to be rid of….

  10. Says:

    Great post! You’re informative yet humorous take on current events puts you in the running with yours truly for Andy Rooney’s old job.! 😉

  11. Do you think the other earth has clogged interstates too?

  12. I once knew a survivor of Pearl Harbor who had a crippling stroke during one of those Dec. 7th “specials”. Day of infamy indeed. Not always good to remember.

  13. Priorities. They have it.

  14. John Erickson Says:

    The evening news programs did brief, but fairly decent reports. NBC did best, with additional story bits on a USS Arizona AND a USS Utah survivor, both of whom passed this year, being buried on their respective ships. (Yes, Arizona is NOT the only sunken ship with a memorial. USS Utah, formerly a battleship but partially disarmed and used as a gunnery training ship in 1941, was also lost. Check out her story at
    Another ‘Rants? No way, dude, you are a true original. Not even infinite improbabilities could give rise to a second you. Or a second me, thank God and all the Heavens! 😀

  15. Isn’t it the 70th anniversary? That ends in a zero. Just saying.

    I think what happened is that Pearl Harbor has been replaced by 9/11. It’s both more recent, and has the date right in it.

    • Yes, I did know it was a zero year. That’s a little writing technique I like to call ‘sarcasm.’ Not sure Pearl Harbor should be replaced by 9/11. We’re still too close to it to get the significance.

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