Road Notes – Again

I mentioned last week I was busy doing Army shit in D.C., and I’m back at it again after a nice beer break at home over the weekend. Of course, this time I’m much colder and it’s a bit harder to breathe, but I figure this will give a fabulous preview of Winter in Kabul, except with more air.

Colorado is lovely this time of year if you prefer your water solid, which generally I do not. The notable exception being if that solid water is in my drink, which generally is great. At any rate, I don’t particularly like it falling out of the sky or forming in sheets spontaneously on the ground. But, when Big Army says go, you go. I went. Here I am.


Snow and Ice. I already mentioned the water in it’s solid phase. Nuff said.

The Fucking Car. Someone hates me, and apparently I will in fact have to sacrifice a Yugo to the Car Rental God in order to get my mojo back on sweet-talking my way Irish style out of a compact and into a midsize again. While this is not as bad as the Hyundai I had last week, I actually have to slouch over gansta-style to see out. Bitches be trippin’ at my freshness.

Prop Jobs. Any Ron White fans out there will understand this: Colorado Springs is 20 minutes away from Denver at half the speed of smell. Holy shit. I’m still undecided as to whether the funny hot mechanical-fluid smell or Bo and Luke’s flying technique was more disturbing to me.


Holiday Inn Express. Two words – Free. Breakfast. Also, no matter what happens, I’ll go into the situation at genius level by default because of where I stayed last night. Having internet in my room is also a huge plus, as opposed to just the lobby.

Soldiers. I’m here to interview Soldiers, which really is always great. Seriously. I don’t get to really interact with them much anymore except for weeks like this one.

Over the Hump. Once complete, this trip will be the second of my three this month, bringing me closer to finishing my Rants Tour 2011.

That about sums up my day yesterday.

23 Responses to “Road Notes – Again”

  1. myslightlywackylife Says:

    It’s a hard life!

  2. Great. You pissed off the weather gods and now they’re sending Colorado’s icy goodness east to New Hampshire. Thanks a lot, Rants.

  3. Holiday Inn Express Free Breakfast trumps any fail. AND Free wi-fi… in your room?? Cha-Ching!

  4. Holiday Inn Express is almost always a good place to stay.

  5. Well, if you every decide to become a rockstar, you already having the touring thing down…

  6. Your problem is that you’re sacrificing a YUGO. Sigh. Not even a god wants a Yugo. Step it up and deliver something good.

  7. I can just see you hunched over in the car like that episode of the SImpsons!

  8. whiteladyinthehood Says:

    That Yugo has tires on it as big as the ones on an 18-wheeler? Is painted three different colors? AND has the decals “O. G.” on the back glass?…If not…well, you may want to re-check that freshness…(just wanted to be a friend and help you out with that)

  9. John Erickson Says:

    Doesn’t Colorado Springs = USAF? What the heck are a bunch of poor grunts doing hanging around a bunch of overly polished flyboys?
    On a prop job, a hot oil smell is GOOD. I love planes with propellers. Mind you, I UNDERSTAND jet engines and how well they work – but seeing that prop slicing through the air is magnificently reassuring. Besides, if it’s got pistons, I can repair it. if a turbine eats itself, you’re screwed (something you should know well from your tank days). 😀

  10. savorthefolly Says:

    That’s interesting that you don’t spend much time with soldiers anymore. To my way of thinking YOU are a soldier. But I get your meaning.

  11. Man it was 54 here in NYS yesterday sunny and beautiful. I’m just saying!

    Best line EVER! “Bitches be trippin’ at my freshness”. OMG my tummy hurts from laughing! 🙂

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