Awesomesauce. This is a pretty cool word, really. I’m jealous of whoever came up with it and wish that gem had rattled out of my head. I don’t remember where I read it, but that’s largely irrelevant. My mind is often like that one corner of the house that always accumulates dry leaves and McDonalds wrappers when the wind blows.

Recently there was a huge commentary in my blog about the word ‘awesomesauce.’ I tried to define it for someone who inquired, and the best I came up with was something to the effect of what you get when something is so awesome that it oozes awesomeness… so that eventually, around the awesome something in question is a slick puddle of… awesomesauce.

Being a person who likely has his own mental illness category unto himself, my brain – or whatever is in there acting like one – naturally kept flipping this train of thought around like a cat jacked up on the catnip in his favorite toy. This happened for a day or so, eventually resulting in nothing but the connection to another unlikely term I’d heard years ago: cool beans. That one dropped out of the crainial nether regions as neatly as a coke machine drops a bottle of soda out when I jam quarters into it.

Cool beans I think is not a bad term either. It implies a condensed nugget of cool-ness. More literally, it hints at a seed of cool that will grow and in turn produce even more coolness later on. Well, so long as the gardener doesn’t get distracted by awesomesauce and forget to water shit, right? Right. Oh shit! A squirrel in the garden…

At this point of course, my ADD gland ejected a massive wave of whatever spins me off into realms of doing random walks. I unleashed my subconscious on the thought, supervised by a couple of the Voices (in my head) and spun off to generate a series of half-completed tasks and projects, assisted by my buddy Joe (Coors). Meanwhile, here is what the Voices backed out:

Bitchen Chips – I think there’s more to the way the words sound together than any real deeper interpretation, but still I can’t help think that something that is totally bitchen (SoCal roots showing here) would make a sound like a tortilla chip when consumed. Yes, tortilla chips were specified. Trippindicular, huh?

Indifference Loaf – Alternately, I think you could use Meh Loaf, but that doesn’t sound as cool beans, does it? Something about indifference seems to imply a loaf – in the meat loaf sense – just laying there, uneaten because nobody particularly gives a shit. Or because of the olives in it.

Passion Punch – No idea here other than it has to be red and taste like it’s kicked up with Bacardi 151.

Fuck Chunks – Can I copyright that? Holy Bitchen Chips, Batman. The beauty of this one is that it automatically derives the versatility of the word ‘fuck’ language-wise, indicating a huge subset of colorful description. Fucking chunks, fuck-me chunks, fucker chunks, fuckkity-fuck-fuck chunks, fuck-monkey chunks… wow. Maybe ‘fuckwit’ requires ‘bits’ because fuckwits are easier to deal with in smaller doses.

Yeah, I know. Living inside my own head is way more exciting than the Army any day, and requires just as much courage. I should charge admission for these tours.


50 Responses to “Awesomesauce”

  1. Dear Mrs. Brianrants .

    You significant other is a whackjob (in the nicest possible way )
    Just thought you ought to know .


  2. I still say ‘cool beans.’ Yes, I’m old. I also like to say someone is ‘full of beans’ which could mean he/she is a gassy old fart or hyped up on too much coffee.

    I though you came up with awesome sauce because I first read it on your blog which is also full of it!

  3. I’m just looking out for you man…. awesomesauce simply isn’t one of those ‘cool beans’ you speak of ( and neither are they , for that matter)

  4. The word that stood out to me was “Tripendicular.” I haven’t heard that word since I was a kid in Florida.

  5. have you seen the movie Hot Rod?

  6. I first saw “cool beans” in the Scott Smith’s book “A Simple Plan” sometime in the mid-90’s. It was eventually made into a movie, but I don’t remember if “cool beans” made the script.

  7. mkultra76 Says:

    I’m partial to “cool beans,” but I am afraid that it makes me uncool in the eyes of the Tweedles, who pronounce LOLZ like it is an actual word. Back in the day a favorite expression was “Oh Fuck Nuts!” but that has been replaced by a kinder, gentler, “Oh, Crud Monkeys!” which, when exclaimed in a classroom full of teenagers while substitute teaching, never fails to delight.

  8. I would’ve never said awesomesauce if one of the other bloggers I read didn’t use it. Her teenage daughter teases her for it, so I figure if a teen hates it, I’ll use it.

  9. OK, so I did love awesomesauce, right up until the point when you included the word “ooze” in the definition. My boss has said that I “ooze sex”, and that greatly disturbed me, because it sounds as though I have a venereal disease. We decided that “exude” is much better.
    On another note, fuck chunks is amazing. I plan to use it today at some point.

  10. John Erickson Says:

    I first heard “awesomesauce” on the blog of a somewhat chatty (but HIGHLY talented) Twenty-something author. Female, if that matters.
    I have no idea where, but the “nice/clean” comment I picked up was “crud knuckles”. I think it was a nice way of saying “fistful of shit”, as the crap would smear across the knuckles.
    “Fuck me silly and call me Margaret” came from my dad. Why, I don’t know, and I sleep better at nights NOT knowing. 😀

  11. I use Awesomesauce almost on a daily basis. I can’t help myself. It’s such a rad word and it just encompasses SO MUCH.

  12. savorthefolly Says:

    does awesomesauce go well with bacon?

  13. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited about anything.
    Baconsauce….. but , but that’s like bacon in a bottle (^.^). You genius you .

    How about starting a company? Could make millions , billions if there are more people like us out there.

  14. I’m going out on a limb and say you first may have read it in my blog or in one of my comments. I am totally NOT taking credit for it in any way. It came, like so very many things do, from 4Chan, in this case via the movie Strong Bad via my daughter Daria. If you are feeling pretty smart and clever, maybe a little uppity, go visit 4Chan. You’ll go away feeling dull as a sack of butter knives.

    A term I did make up is ‘fudge knuckles’. It means what you think it means.

  15. …and, the people who recently brought you bacon-flavored “personal lubricant”, have decided that, for those of us who still send snail-mail and hate the shitty taste of the glue…Ta-da, bacon-flavored envelopes.

    If I knew some gal getting married, I’d send out all her invites, for that.

  16. Heres a golden oldie- dont have a cow man. I never gave it a thought until i saw someone so sputteringly angry i thought he was giving birth. And not to something human sized.
    Then i laughed. Which wasnt a good reaction to defuse the situation, but it was so awesome, a little chuckle just popped out.

  17. savorthefolly Says:

    um….so I couldn’t help but notice the sudden drop off in comments from you on my blog. mad at me? not that I don’t deserve it, but just wondering….

  18. While you two “old guys” fight about relative age, I feel like John Wayne in Rooster Cogburn. I have a daughter (Lady Ryl) older than Rants, and a son (Shimoniac), just younger. When John E. invented dirt, I was the clerk at the patent office.

  19. *chuckles* possibly that too…
    I have a brother with just that sense of humour. He would ask you why you would eat a cheese that has mould in it and call it refined dining.

  20. Ive used the term Awesomesauce for as long as I could remember. Until recently that is… my 15 year old son informed me that every time I said it, he and his 14 year old brother laughed heartily on the inside, then even more heartily behind my back… because apparently these days “Awesomesauce” is what makes babies. My response?
    Fan-fkn- tasitc… I still use the word, but only to myself. then i giggle. and everyone wonders what im up to…. ha.

  21. I did a photoshoot for a kid who’s brother kept referring to everything as dopesauce. Not as good as awesomesauce, but still kinda cool.

  22. Now this is just too much of a coincidence! I was conversing with some of my buds today and we were chatting about the word “awesomesause”. This must be a sign telling me to use this epic word more often.

  23. Anonymous Says:

    At long last – a comrade in arms – someone else who’s brain is as “unique” as my own! Really enjoying your blog.

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