My Freak-Ass Tee Shirt Collection
This post was inspired while writing another one about the odd things I actually say out loud (will be done cooking soon, be patient). The connection here is a tee shirt my guys in Afghanistan made for me when I left as a sort of going away / thank you / please hurry gift. They had it made and it is a collection of some of the funny stuff I said from time to time. Ergo the link to my hilarious tee shirt collection. I am not really a novelty tee shirt type of guy, but every now and then I see one that I absolutely have to have.
The gift shirt is a perfect first entry, but it requires lengthy description. On the front, in six-inch letters: “WTF.” Quick story: Di and I both wore our matching shirts on a vacation one day. A little kid asked what ‘wtf’ meant, and without missing a beat, Di said cooly, “Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.” That’s my girl. On the back:
- I am the ringmaster and nobody is in the fucking tent.
- I am about to say ‘Fuck you,’ and take my ball and go home.
- You sound like you’re from London.
- See, what happened was…
- Life is like a shit sandwich; the more bread you have the less shit you eat at once.
“Unicorns – the other white meat” I somehow wound up with this after a particularly
drunken lively social event in Korea.
“Fuck you, you fucking fuck” I saw this in a
head shop novelty and poster store and of course had to have it. Not only is it intrinsically awesome, it uses the word ‘fuck’ in three English grammar functions.
“I’ll stop wearing black when they come up with something darker” Acquired during my period characterized by gothic tendencies. Still awesome. It is, of course, a black tee shirt.
“I fling poo” This text accompanied by a giant cartoon rendering of a monkey face. Not only funny but a fairly accurate characterization as well.
I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about whether or not I’ve worn these in public. And which one I’m wearing right now.