Versatile? Relative To What??

Apparently I am steadily developing a healthy cult following here.  I think that’s kinda like growing a beneficial tumor in case you’re wondering.  Key point is, it’s relative.  Being nominated for “Versatile Blogger” I honestly have no idea whether or not is actually a good thing or not since I’ve only been at this rantaliciousness for a few months now.  A blogger far more talented than I likened it to a blog chain letter, and to be honest the comparison is pretty valid, sort of like ‘Social Security’ is to ‘money plan’ as ‘Ponzi Scheme’ is to… ‘money plan.’  Hmm.

Like all chain letters, this nomination comes with rules, which if not followed probably means some thick gentlemen in Wayfarers and ear mic’s will come and advise me to get busy following the rules.  Or maybe they’ll just bend my dog tags and make me go back to my commissioning source for a re-do.  Problem is, Rule #3 below.  As such, should I nominate my blogfriends, I’ll basically be creating an infinite do-loop.

As for versatility, I’m not convinced.  My schtick is snarky ranting about whatever stupid, random shit is rattling around inside my head at the moment.  I don’t do “deep,” “meaningful,” or stuff like poetry or actual (gasp!) samples of fiction.  Why bother when there are so many other artistes out there who have got all four corners of that nailed down?


1. Thank and link the person who nominated you.  That would be the owner of the dark gray blog H.E. Ellis who left her lights on and is parked in a tow-away zone.  She runs an awesome site, by the way, and is a great example of a rigorously-correct writer, for those of you with grammar, usage and construction problems.  Thank you!  By the way, you nominated me, but who’s on the final committee and when and how do they notify me I’ve won?  Are there cash awards or just bacon?

2. Share seven random facts about yourself.  As the saying goes, ‘shake that moneymaker,’ though not sure how that applies directly.  Probably best to never mind that.  Ok here’s my seven things; I may exceed this standard to make up for #3:

  • I am actually surprisingly good at anything involving restoring or making things out of wood.
  • I was a candidate for prom queen my Senior Year of high school. Caused a huge fuss, but I made my point and a truly nice non-Barbieditz won.
  • I took Russian in college and recall about two words of it today.
  • I once earned $20 after doing a striptease on a bar in Germany on a dare. The ladies ‘tipping’ were unaware I was dared.
  • I am the first person in my family to go to college. Jury out on my son, but at least he walks upright.
  • I have lived (occupied space one year or more) outside the U.S. in three countries, one of which we’re occupying. I’ve been through twelve others, one of which did not exist when I was there.
  • I can, among other sounds, replicate the sound shaking a can of spray paint makes with my mouth. F-ing amazing, I know.
  • I met the guitarist from Disturbed on a flight this year, and he is pretty cool.
  • I have broken my nose five times, but none of those breaks were the result of a fist.
  • I once got seven black widow bites at once.
  • I can remember being born. I blame Mom.

Okay, I’ve used “I” more than Obama does in his campaign speeches. Time to move on.

3. Pass this award onto 15 new blogging friends.  Okay, so this is where it breaks down.  I basically haven’t yet found 15 total sites that I’d consider nominating.  Of the ones I have, over half have already been winners, so … what would be the point? One of them would probably be pretty pissed at me, I’m sure, and another doesn’t even have a blog… which makes him a kind of groupie.  Now, I suppose I could just bang away with the mouse through Freshly Pressed or the tag cloud and randomly nominate folks, but I figure that would come back to bite my ass since I’d likely pick 15 mouth breathers who have not done anything post-wise since 2009.  Caught on the horns of this dilemma, I will instead punt: please scroll down and visit my blogroll sites – they’re all fabulous.  I’d also recommend wading through some of my posts with a lot of comments and catch the others who regularly comment – there are some hidden gems I’ve been a lazy POS about adding to my ‘roll.

4. Contact and congratulate the awarded bloggers.  Taken care of above since all mentioned can read and perform inductive reasoning, with the notable exception of John Erickson:  Thank you.


37 Responses to “Versatile? Relative To What??”

  1. There’s no way in hell you remember being born.

  2. ^ what he said !! (0.o) Also , on the prom queen bit (0.o)

  3. Oh boy, popularity contests in the blogosphere!

  4. Was one of those broken noses the result of falling off a bar you were stripping on because 7 black widows fell off the ceiling and bit you, after which you swore in Russian? “Don’t worry about the chair I just broke. I can restore that.”

  5. I sense that you are mocking my post of fiction….;)

  6. what countries have you occupied space in?!?

  7. I echo your thoughts about the multitude of awards circulating through the blogosphere . . . with the except of one (that I happened to create):

    The 2011 Sexiest Blog Award:

    The more you exercise your bragging rights, the more both our blogs will benefit.

    YOU can send readers to SLTW to check out the semi-finalists you competed against (i.e., the Blog Roll), and I’ll send readers to your blog to check out the Sexiest Blog of the Year button that you create because I’m too lazy to make it myself.

  8. John Erickson Says:

    I have the feeling I’ve been referred to as both a groupie and a tumor. As to being a groupie, I won’t confirm it until I see a picture of you up on that bar – then I’ll pass judgement, and may even send flowers. Or bacon, whichever you prefer. As to being a tumor, nope, uh-uh, no way – I am NOT a tumor, I am a hemorrhoid. Just ask any of the 30 other blogs I haunt. (Yes, haunt is the right word – as in disturbing, causing lost sleep, and frustrating to point of lunacy.
    So which country didn’t exist then, but does now – one of those lovely messes created by Yugoslavia falling to pieces?
    And I gotta say – we did have some hotties in high school, but if you had tried to be a prom queen in the group I graduated college with, you would definitely have been the hottest there. I don’t care if you look like you’ve had your FACE broken seven times, and set REALLY badly – you’d have been a KNOCKOUT! 😀
    And seriously, congratulations. Who cares if your punctuation or grammar isn’t first-rate, your natural wit shines through. Well done!

    • Thank you. I have to poke fun at you directly since *someone* refuses to start his own damn blog…

      • John is a pest. Let’s swat him! ;D I apologize, it’s been a hella long day.

      • John Erickson Says:

        Hey, swatting is pretty mild, considering I usually get offers of being beat to a pulp as the MILDEST form of retribution. Though the Idiot has threatened me twice with sending Jamie (LifeOfJamie) to beat me up. But she’s a tease, she’s never comes through for me. So I’m stuck with these leather hip boots and a bullwhip I bought for her – anybody need a Christmas present? 😉

      • Not from you, O Weird One.

  9. we’re putting in a new wood kitchen counter tomorrrow…curvey deal that’s gotta be sawed…what’re u doing around 2 pm?

  10. Vicinity of Kansas City. I recommend using a carefully-made cardboard template that you use to trace the lines, then a good saw with small teeth, staying just to the side of the line. Then the hard work with an electric sander to make it perfectly match the line. Same technique as matching an uneven wall but uses the template instead of dividers to obtain the line.

  11. Everything’s better with bacon.

  12. With you on the chain letter thing, couldn’t come up with 15 either, but since I finally got around to the blogroll thing and you’re on it, I put you down. Bask in the pseudo-glory!

  13. My excitement having read the first couple lines of the nomination I got made me think, “finally, some great recognition”. Then i read the rest with the rules and promptly returned back to work with an apology and explaining that i was not afterall a professional writer who didn’t their corporate job.

  14. […] nominated for the versatile blogger award. Basically , and as Brainrants has eloquently put it (here), it’s the bloggers equivalent of chain mail . However! An award’s an award and […]

  15. […] rules involved are kinda silly, and you all have seen my initial VB award response. Check it out here. Obviously I still tend to think of this as a glorified electronic chain […]

  16. First, I categorically deny being a cult follower of yours or any other blog.; in fact, I’m actually beginning to believe that your real name is “Rome” (or perhaps some variant, i.e. Romeo, Romer, Roamer, etc.) Why ? because I keep ending up here by accident, as in “All roads lead to Rome.” But, being an inveterate clicker and link-follower, I suppose that is a natural consequence.

    That being said, I am glad that I ended up in Rome this morning due to several clicks that led to these Versatile Blogger “rules.” Several days ago, the green “blob,” as I like to think of the “award,” arrived in my e-mail. Having seen it on numerous blogs where the bloggers followed the “rule,” I knew there were some things I was supposed to do., most of which had seemed, well, just f*cking stupid when I skimmed over them on the aforesaid “winning” blogs. But no where could I find a list of them! So, the blob still sits in my e-mail, I haven’t followed the rules, now that I’ve read them here I won’t (aside from the list … that, at least, is something I can have fun with), and therefore, I owe you a debt of gratitude. Even if you still think I’m a cult follower.

    • It’s like a chain letter. BTW your site and ‘Hermudgeon’ is cool. I do not think you are a cult follower, especially by comparison to some here. Oh, I’ve got some grape kool-aid here, want some?

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