Shit I Believe (One)

One thing I’ve noticed as I’ve expanded my understanding of this whole blogging experience is that there are a lot of people out there who like to offer up their personal beliefs through this medium.  I’d say that’s probably a good way to do it, since people seem to be comfortable with making personal consumption choices on the internet (but surprisingly can’t seem to exercise that same judgement with a TV remote in hand).  After experiencing some of this vast ocean of belief out there both intentionally and unintentionally, I thought to myself, “Well, what the hell, might make a good recurring blog topic.”  And so here we are.  As the conventional wisdom goes: “Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one and they all stink.”

I believe…

… that getting into fights is sometimes unavoidable because even if you really are a tough guy, eventually someone will try calling your bluff.

… a lot of people forget that we have two ears but only one mouth, and that the relative proportion suggests relative levels of use.

… that other than what it says in the Constitution, you’re entitled to opportunity and that’s about it.

… that children are equipped with a Reset Button located in the butt, and that frequent use early on will prevent software programming corruption later.

… that Microsoft intentionally made Solitaire more difficult just to piss off me and me alone.

… respect comes in two forms: that which is given, and that which is earned. How much you wind up with and in what proportion is up to you.

… the fact that an automobile has only one steering wheel and set of pedals imply something very important to the passenger(s).

… that it is infinitely more difficult to move from lax standards to disciplined ones than it is the other way around.

… bacon is the most awesome form of meat on the planet.

… the laws of physics clearly demonstrate that the amount of energy required to lower the toilet seat is equal to that required to raise it.

… that you’re as fully entitled to worship who- or whatever you damn well like as I am entitled to not have to listen to you talk about it, so please get off my porch.

… I will have another beer.

I have a feeling this might piss off the neighbors, as a friend of mine once said.  I’ll keep a steady watch on my “give a shit meter” and let you all know if I tick up off of zero. This post turned out kinda ranty, but that’s ok because the feedback I get tells me I’m fairly good at it.

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44 Responses to “Shit I Believe (One)”

  1. Buddy, you’re my new best friend. I’ll spout something as a child of immigrants. When my grandfather, Ludovico Tirillo was asked why he left Italy to come to the United States he said, “America may not be perfect, but at least here we have the freedom to choose how we fail.” I say if you are an American then your blog is your place to voice your opinion as you see fit, and others have the FREEDOM to look away. As for me, if you keep ranting I’ll keep reading.

  2. John Erickson Says:

    Wrap that needle around the rest, pal, and call it zero. Love the reset button in the kid’s butt – all I gotta say is “Ay-bloody-men!”
    Seriously, I was forced through a job to go through a class on authority, and all the different types. Despite all the blathering, they basically said what you did, though far less eloquently. Such is the fun of “workplace education” in civilian life.
    Oh, and physics shows one more important fact – it requires less energy to sit your ass down to pee, then it does to argue with the wife over seat position.
    Or maybe I’m just too dang old to care anymore….

  3. John Erickson Says:

    Just gave you a shout-out over at:
    http://afrankangle.wordpress.com/2011/09/17/on-blogging-versatility
    I think you’ve been to Frank’s place, but if not, give him a check out. Hopefully I’ll get you a bit of traffic as well. (And you can learn a bit more about me! 😀 )

  4. The Constitution says “the pursuit of happiness” not a guarantee.

    Nice post! I dug it.

  5. Good list!

    I never say a word . . . unless I have something to say. 😆

  6. I smell something fishy around here. I recently had a very similar blog but on the opposite end of this topic and I have impeccable sources saying YOU read it? Hmm, I wonder. ;D

  7. Also, when you like one of your posts, I want it to say, just for you, instead of “You like this (4)” to say instead “You like this shit (5)”. Cool or what, huh?

  8. That is by far one of the best posts I’ve ever read. Simple and yet so true. You are now my guru.

  9. […] September 22, 2011 One thing I've noticed as I've expanded my understanding of this whole blogging experience is that there are a lot of people out there who like to offer up their personal beliefs through this medium.  I'd say that's probably a good way to do it, since people seem to be comfortable with making personal consumption choices on the internet (but surprisingly can't seem to exercise that same judgement with a TV remote in hand).  After experiencing som … Read More […]

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