Off The Ticker: 5.9 Earthquake Hits D.C.

I walked in the door from a quick trip to the Food Getting Place and my Lovely Recovering Bride immediately provided verbal terminal guidance into see the latest on an earthquake in D.C.  Wow.  Who would have thought.  Naturally, this tidbit of actual news (!) activated my Sarcasm Gland…

My predictions on the causes (English: excuses) dreamed up for sound bites covering this earthquake:

Obama: “It was due to policy mistakes by the former administration.”

Congress: “Clearly an effort to derail important, ongoing Congressional work by (The Other Party).  However, in this time of crisis, we are prepared to respond with an Earthquake Recovery Package of only 204 billion dollars…”

Conservative Pundit Media:  “This was the tangible effect of Congress’ approval ratings hitting the ground.  This is an indicator of 2012 voting…”

Liberal Pundit Media: “This was the tangible effect of Congress’ approval ratings hitting the ground.  You in the general public should be ashamed…”

NSA: “We can neither confirm nor deny there was or was not an actual or imagined earthquake at some point in time.  Terror alert levels are laterally upgraded and downgraded simultaneously to ‘salmon’.”

A Californian Selected At Random:  “5.9?? That’s it?”

FEMA: “What earthquake?”

Enjoy the snarkiness…


8 Responses to “Off The Ticker: 5.9 Earthquake Hits D.C.”

  1. Haha this is legit. My Sarcasm Meter is off the charts (ZING!) today…

  2. Aha! Great word choice. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂

  3. I had no choice but to share on Facebook! 😆

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