Weekend Rollup #2

Ok, so things are going much better.  Overall, this weekend I have to chalk up as a “win.”  This assessment comes in spite of some retard assclown forgetting that his windows in the Blazer were at half-staff over the period of two violent rainstorms (i.e., it rained sideways).  Yeah, fabulous.  And of course someone else who will remain nameless didn’t notice until said individual sat said person’s fat ass in the highly-saturated car seat, soaking ass of aforementioned person to the skin on the way to shopping at the Food Getting Place.  Seriously, there was water standing in the cup holders and puddled in the footwells.  The Blazer smells, right now, like “hot butt and Chee-Toh’s” (quote from my lovely and talented Daughter Unit The First).

And then we go into some funny detail:

Made about a gallon and a half of my Completely Awesome and Delicious Kick-Ass Spaghetti Sauce.  This process took up about four hours on Friday night.  Yeah, right, but if you have to do something you might as well do it correctly the first time.  Win Factor: Di thinks it’s awesome enough to just eat with a spoon.  Fail Factor:  It cost some money for groceries and took forever to make.  More Fail:  Made a red-dotted mess of the kitchen.

Made about two quarts (no shit!) of pesto.  And it is edible.  Win Factor:  Di likes it, I like it; I could be a basil rancher someday.  Additional Win:  The basil plants get to rengenerate leaves and twigs, which means more basil (i.e., pesto) between now and cold time.  Fail Factor: added to the spaghetti mess with leaves and twigs and shit all over the floor.  Side Win: Kitchen still smells like basil.

Gained additional information about how to unscrew the office computer and make it print for everyone in the house.  Win Factor:  I used my few remaining functional neurons successfully to decode help forum pages on the internet.  Fail Factor:  We still can’t effing print.

Assisted In Economic Recovery.  Win Factor: Moulson-Coors stock should see an huge uptick this week.  Associated Win Factor:  Money spent on food for sauce and pesto will filter into and help our economy.  Fail Factor:  Hangovers suck dead rhino ass.

Completed approximately two metric tons of laundry, and all bedclothes in the upper two stories are now either clean or in the process of cleaning.  Win Factor: Pillows and sheets not infested with cat hair are a good thing.  Fail Factor:  Not done yet, Zippy.  Keep working.

Kept up with dishes and dishwasher operations.  Win Factor: We will not die of a rare spoiled-food virus.  Fail Factor:  Took two nights to complete the follow-up from the sauce and pesto fest.  Side Win:  Di was sleeping and recovering most of Saturday, so if it’s not observed, it didn’t happen… or fail to happen.

Vaccuumed bedroom curtains.  Win Factor:  Holy dark curtains, Batman, those are black, not gray!!  Even More Win: Holy shit you can vaccuum curtains!  Fail Factor: About all I accomplished upstairs over two days.  Side Win:  Praise the Lord and pass the potatoes, the air up here is finally not thick.  Stupid shedding cats.

Executed grocery shopping operations.  Win Factor: Replenished key consumables to facilitate further life-activity.  Fail Factor:  Sacrificed money.  Side Win: Walked around the Commissary with a wet ass and nobody even noticed.  Note:  Apparently there are a lot of adults who wear wet pants (or similar) in the Commissary.  Warrants further review.

Uber-Fail Moment (Not counting the car window thing):  Threw away a favorite pillow belonging to Numbah One Spouse based on overwhelming stench of mildew.  Win Factor:  None observed.  Fail Factor:  Intensely observed / Infinite.

Uber-Win Moment: Told Di in all sincerity that I really understand how much work this house and associated stuff is required, and now understand how much she really does around here.  Win Factor: I said this in passable English and Di heard and understood and appreciated what I said.  Fail Factor:  This statement will be used against me in the future… to make me clean toilets… or wipe up bulimic cat vomit.

I can only hope that these weekend updates continue to decrease in drama and “Fail” levels.  I keep working and trying.

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4 Responses to “Weekend Rollup #2”

  1. You are doing a stellar job . . . just keep an eye out for storm clouds in the future. 😉

  2. nevertheless, re: uber-win moment, u r a smart man…and the pasta sauce sounds like it might be good too.

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