Tree Rats

Like a lot of you, we have tree rats – squirrels, as you may know them.  I refuse to address or refer to them by any term that implies cuteness because they are evil, malevolent, devil-spawn minions of hell.  Tree Rats are rodents and rodents were enablers for the Dark Ages.

I’ve watched them dig some nutty morsel of food into a carefully-cultivated flower bed, regardless of the fact they will not remember where it is because they have wee little brains.  I’ve also seen them abscond up a tree with a perfect tomato for a drink of water, and then hurl it down five seconds later with three toothy grooves.

I would shoot them but I don’t.  I refrain from murdering them not because I am prohibited from discharging firearms on post, but because I  can’t clear the trajectory line of the bullet.

Wouldn’t want any ricochets winging little kids and shit, now would we?


6 Responses to “Tree Rats”

  1. And that we have no firearms here silly, unless u wish to use bb gun. lol remember?????

  2. Anonymous Says:

    I dont like squirrels, but I avoid hitting them, and I’m happy when the carry away oranges off our neighbors tree, because they rot, nobody picks them and then fall off into our yard! So I see it as they are doing me a favor! hahahaha!

    • Hmm. Well I’d never want to trample your opinion, so you please go enjoy your tree rats. I promise I will NEVER slay your tree rats. Unless they come in my yard.

  3. cathy jesse Says:

    that was my comment!

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