Naps

This blog post was inevitable because one of the things I find myself thinking frequently is, “Holy dump, I need a nap.”  No, really, I do.  Seriously.  Anyway, this is normally followed by a phone ringing or some other tyrannically urgent issue exploding on me.  I also reflect and miss the days when Mom would force me to take a nap, which worked up until a certain age.  After that I just goofed off after the door was closed.  Eventually I became a Big Boy and no longer needed naps, and thus started the inexorable loss of a key childhood ability.

I am somewhat jealous of Di because as CEO and Chief Household Engineer, she has the ability to nap at will, when she needs one or when the mood strikes. Di does this with executive authority.  Five days of seven, normally, I’m otherwise occupied by Army shit (funny, they keep expecting me to do stuff every day).  Come the weekend, all those homefront tasks, chores, and jobs that I didn’t get to or blew off come due.  The garden won’t weed itself.  My laundry won’t clean and fold itself either.  Besides, someone’s got to make sure Di gets up from her nap on time.

Every now and then, though, I’ll get a chance to escape upstairs and lay on the cool sheets, put my big, fat head on the pillow, and attempt a nap.  The sad part of this is I’m not consistently successful at it.  Most of the time, I’ll doze for twenty minutes and wake up.  Other times, I’ll not really sleep and just kind of thrash around ineffectively for no point.  Or the cats will need to ensure I’m alive by laying on my face to check for breathing.  I fear sometimes that after so many years without regular napping, I’ve lost the ability to do it.  Scary.

Every now and then, though, I’ll be successful and tear off a great two-hour coma-esque session, and those rare times make it all worth it.

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2 Responses to “Naps”

  1. outkast86 Says:

    Naps are over-rated.
    Change your diet, get more exercise, and stay awake through the whole day for a much healthier and more satisfying nights sleep.
    Lazy-ass.

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