Roots

Although I’d not planned on adding any more postings today, I’m adding this one because my wife is pissed.  Good News and Bad News:  Bad – she’s pissed.  Good – not at me.

Okay, so that major point out of the way, the reason my lovely bride is assed-up has to do with family.  I’m becoming convinced that contrary to what our brilliant media peddles, all families are disfunctional.  Specifically, this problem tonight stems from Diana (spouse) attempting to find out about her past and family.  Easy, right?  Not so much.  The baggage being toted through life here is that her Mom and Dad split when she was a teenager.  To make things worse, her mother died in a car accident when Di was just 17.  In the ten years I’ve known her, Diana has had a powerful need – understandably – to know about where, and who (whom??) she came from.

Now, my family has spent probably more time than was required digging up our lineal past, to the point that I can clearly picture the hand-drawn-on-parchment and framed family tree with yours truly featured squarely at the very bottom with my sister… an unspoken challenge waiting to happen, if you will.  This being the fact of the matter on my half of the marriage, I’m clearly wrong here.  Just because.  I’m also a man, so I’m doubly wrong.  But I digress…

The true salient point to Di’s frustration is that she’s not truly known her parents as many of us have: that “aha” moment following adolescence when we begin to relate to our parents as fellow adults and leave the parent/child dynamic behind.  In reality she never had the complete parent/child experience.  Because of this, Di has yearned for parental connection, even if all she can establish is a family tree, in whatever format it takes.

So she boldly embarked where none of her clan had ventured before.  Geneaology sites were consulted, phone calls were made, questions asked [yes, that was passive voice – just deal with it].  And here there comes resistance.  Why?  I wish I knew, because as The Husband, it’s my job to fix shit like this, right?  Not so much.  Without being nasty, or naming names to call people out rudely, some family on her side aren’t particularly willing to share information.  At this point there are hints as to why; shadowy, veiled intimations alluding to wrongdoings buried in the distant past. 

True?  False?  Indeterminate at this point in the process.  In the grand context, however, is it relevant?  Really?

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