Five Freaky Things I Like To Eat

The AutoTopic finally jarred loose a good and original blog topic, and here you are.  Warning: if any of the three things below causes you to hurl, barf, reboot, blow chunks, vomit, or some other equally-cool synonym for throwing up, it’s not my fault.  I can’t make you read this because you’re over there and I’m here (*waves*).  I’d judge the last one to be something you might try on an adventurous day, which is why I put it last.

Other than noted due to the fact that the final one is likely to be most more edible to everyone, in no particular order:

Pickle Juice.  I will patiently await the last dill spear and then just sit there and drink the remaining pickle juice.  Yeah, I know that’s not great for the salt and such.  Got it, thanks.  I’d also note that pickle juice is not like beer and should not be guzzled.  Rather, it is more like a good whiskey and should be sipped reflectively. Surprisingly refreshing on a hot day. Not recommended for folks with ulcers and other heinous gastrointestinal issues.

Burnt Chicken Bones. This is sort of like sucking the ends of ribs, but there’s nothing odd about that. Since the time I was a small me, I’ve loved having fried chicken and saving the crisped-up rib bones for last. Obviously a risky food to eat from a choke-and-die point of view, but well worth that risk if you’re patient enough to chew thoroughly.

Bleu Cheese.  I know, nothing particularly disturbing about bleu cheese.  However, who sits and eats it with a spoon, right out of the container?  Or slaps the wedge on a plate and calls it a snack?  Yeah, me, that’s who.  Simply delightful. Not recommended prior to situations where your breath freshness is important.

Oreos and Orange Juice.  Again, technique here is critical.  For this one, it is a straight substitution of the traditional milk with the OJ.  I do follow-up with the standard dunking of said Oreo in the OJ.  Occasionally, I add in more advanced moves, like the unscrew and scrape, or the double-unscrew and filling-double up, with dunks.  I find the OJ permeates the Oreo faster than milk, facilitating the rate of snackage.

Peanut Butter and Bacon Sandwiches.  No, not with ‘nanners,’ with bacon.  I prefer the bread toasted for structural reasons as well as the toasty flavor.  The amount of peanut butter will vary from person to person, but you must be careful not to overpower the bacony goodness. The bacon is the focus; the PB is the facilitator.  A thin coat on each side of the sandwich is good.  Crisp bacon is important, since limp-fried bacon will pull out and flap down your chin.  This leaves a peanutbuttery skidmark on your face and also defeats the whole purpose of making the sandwich.  High in fat, but if you have both products in your house this is not likely an issue for you to begin with.

I did warn you at the beginning…